I can absolutely relate to the situation you are in and I know that it’s a dark and horribly lonely place to be, as I was in a similar situation, thirty years ago. I know that there is much more information and support for victims of domestic violence but it doesn’t change how you terrified you feel about your situation and how your future may look like. My advice is to ring a counselling helpline to see where you stand in regards to your and your children’s safety because that is the most important thing. I gathered my young children, clothes and documents and drove my old car to a Women’s Refuge. I would advise choosing one where your husband can’t easily find you. The people in the refuge saved my life and supported me through the social and legal system. I had no money either and no family support but I was surrounded by people who understood my situation and I got the help that I needed. You will be astonished to know that your story is very similar to those who have experienced domestic abuse and that leaves you feeling less lonely. Believe me when I tell you that if you don’t leave now, it will only get worse. There is a future out there for you and your family, one that doesn’t include abuse. You are about to take an enormous leap into what seems like the darkness but you will find light. I hope that you gather up all the courage that you have and leave a situation that is never going to change.
If reading or exercising or any other home activity dosen’t do, or maybe you want to be happier, you may want to try to keep telling yourself that you’re happy and this is the perfect life for you constantly. It may sound stupid, but it actually works. The subconcious mind cannot tell the diffrence between the mental or real world. We’ve come to expect it from the mouth breather, and his domestic terrorist cult known as the deplorables. Whenever there’s a Democratic stronghold, he will assail it relentlessly, because he knows we will never, in a million years, vote for a subhuman traitor like himself. The cult knows it, as well. For decades, they’ve shown their disdain for us- only recently have we started to give them a taste of their own medicine, and they don’t like it. Which is why they’re so keen and willing to agree with Trump’s attacks on us- they’re every bit as evil as he is. A fact they’ve proven time and again, and in particular during the pandemic, when they refuse to wear masks, and practice social distancing. They don’t care if they’re walking biological bombs. Well, scratch that- some care. I almost forgot white supremacists thought of using the virus as a weapon. Trump continues hosting events where he doesn’t wear a mask, and where his cult largely don’t wear masks, either. No social distancing, no masks, no measures being taken to prevent these events from being super spreaders. They are incredibly selfish, as they put the lives of everyone they come in contact with in danger. And they simply don’t care, because Trump clearly doesn’t.