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After many sleepless nights of refreshing my news feed until 2 or 3 a.m. and waking drenched in anxiety, I forced myself to stop compulsive news gathering. I put my phone on airplane mode at 10 p.m., lit the Official because we got high shirt also I will do this candles, filled the bath and settled in for a big read. I picked up a book recommended by a friend, The Positive Birth Book, by Milli Hill. Home birth is something that I had previously filed under “N/A,” but Hill’s book helped me understand exactly what happened to my body during my first birth and realize that even though I thought it was a great experience, it could have been even better. Quietly, and this time by daylight, I went further in my research. After texting with a few friends, I connected with Joanne Gottschall, a licensed midwife who delivers babies at home in our area. We talked at length. Not only did she reduce my anxiety and further demystify home birth for me, she helped address my biggest concern about what happens if and when something goes wrong. “Midwives are the experts in physiological pregnancy and birth,” she assured me. “If at any time the mom or the baby deviates from the norm, immediate action is taken.” She added that with low-risk pregnancies (which, thank goodness, so far I am), most problems can be seen well in advance, and that the majority of people who transfer to a hospital do so because they simply don’t wish to go on without pain medication, or because their labor stalls. In other words, it’s likely to be a more controlled process than the nightmare scenario I had previously envisioned: the baby coming out not breathing, the umbilical cord wrapped around the neck, or a sudden emergency for myself which would require a rush to the hospital…

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If I choose a home birth with a midwife, my husband will be able to stay with me. My mom will not be able to travel down from New York because of COVID-19. If I give birth in the Official because we got high shirt also I will do this hospital, I will be alone regardless of what rules are in place by then, because my husband will be looking after our toddler. I have also taken a look at the medium ground: the birthing center. Home births are rare in the U.S. (hovering around 1% of births), and the birthing center is the more widely accepted alternative to a hospital delivery. Many low-risk pregnant friends have delivered there under the supervision of the midwife team. Provided all goes well, you are released four to eight hours after delivery. I find this very appealing at a time when my home seems the safest place from the virus. Not to mention the draw of being able to crawl into my own bed, back with the boys and bonding as a family. I do wonder, though: As medical strain increases, and hospitals are drafting nurses, medical students, and retired doctors, will the midwives be next?

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