I think that in any relationship where the two people are different in some aspect that confers status (brains, bucks, beauty) there will always be an element that the person with “more” is going to exert power over the other instead of mutual consensus on the parts of life that need compromise to negotiate. This is the same reason why parents are concerned if their kids are dating w big age differences, or other inequalities. Because the best relationships are a balance of give and take, and anything that impedes this is probably not healthy for one of the participants. I think that the person who asked this may be think of the principal of scarcity. If the women you know think smart guys are scarce, they may resent these smart guys investing in an unequal relationship when the smart women in this scenario are having difficulty finding an equal with whom to to have a good partnership. That’s not to say it’s true – you could probably write a dissertation on why both the guys and ladies shouldn’t care about height, but perception is what we are discussing here, not an ideal world. Anyway, no one should actually jump to the conclusion that the person with more brains, beauty or whatever is always taking advantage of the person with less. It may be that the person you perceive as lesser, has some less obvious trait (humor, compassion, musical talent) that actually makes the partners a good balance for each other.
Or maybe it’s just what it looks like – he’s after the boobs, or she’s a gold digger. But don’t get mad, because you REALLY don’t want to be with him/her if s/he is that shallow. Most of the doctors I’ve met, they’ve all been working in psychiatry. Many of them have told me the things that will happen if I lose control and cut too deep or something. One doctor I met, which I didn’t show my self harm for, but I told her. She told me that it was good that I didn’t do it on a different and more severe body part. This was not the best thing a doctor could have said to a self destructive teenager. I met a nurse who controlled my health before a new job and she denied me the job due to my old self harm scars on my arms. She said that this stressful job maybe isn’t for me. That hurt. Generally, they’ve all asked me all those suicidal questions just to know if I’m suicidal as well. Some doctors and health care professionals are convinced that self harm and suicide is the same thing, which I don’t agree with. I lie awake many nights and try to imagine what life would be like for my family if we lived in Gaza instead of Israel. Sometimes I cry thinking of the Palestinian fathers and mothers, their utter desperation in trying to protect their children while there is absolutely nowhere to run. I imagine how we run with all the other families to some UNRWA school or hospital to hide and a few minutes later the Hamas shows up and starts shooting rockets from the same place. I imagine what it’s like for the Palestinian parents to know that it’s just a matter of time before Israel retaliates to the rockets and we’re all going to be sitting on a big, red “X”. The only solution I can come up with, as a virtual Gaza family, would be to walk with my wife and children toward the Israeli border with a white flag and just sit there by the fence. I assume at some point the Israelis might fire some warning shots and the Hamas might shoot us in the backs for “deserting the cause”, but I wouldn’t care. We would just keep walking and hope for the best.